Death snake
February 26th, 2007
Hi my name is Mary and I’m 11 this is a story about my life in Nigeria when I was 7. After a long day of school homework and playing I went to bed.I had to sleep with someone because I was scared.I picked my anuty. when it was dark and the moon came up I fell asleep.then I heard a hissing noise.I thought it was just a cat. some minuits after the noise I felt something moving and the hissing noise was geting lowder.I opened my eyes and in front of me was a snake.Because snakes couldn’t see well it didn’t bite me but I was scared.I woke up my Aunty and she was scared when she saw the snake.My dad woke up, he told me to get out. He picked it up by the neck and threw it out and steped on its head.
Entry Filed under: Donbank
6 Comments Add your own
1. Jenny | February 26th, 2007 at 8:50 pm
I enjoyed reading about your adventure in Nigeria. You built up the suspense and excitement very well with lots of good descpritions - like “the hissing noise was getting louder”. Is it a true story? Could you write some other stories for the Younsters’ Forum?
Great writing - keep it up
2. Elma | February 27th, 2007 at 3:56 pm
Oooh Mary, no wonder you were scared! I don’t really mind snakes but I don’t think I would like one coming into my room when I was asleep!
I like how you write “when it was dark and the moon came up I fell asleep” and “some minuits after the noise I felt something moving and the hissing noise was geting lowder.” These are interesting sentences.You do have one or two spelling mistakes that you could maybe have fixed - but your story builds up well and really gets across how afraid you were.
3. stephanie | March 9th, 2007 at 2:34 pm
hiya your story was good just mention a bit more about what happened
4. becky | March 11th, 2007 at 4:42 pm
Hi Mary i think your story is very good.I would be scared aswell if i woke up and saw a snake
5. Cornhill | March 20th, 2007 at 11:25 am
IT’S A VERY GOOD AND SCARY FROM AMY
6. Darran Hainey | October 5th, 2007 at 10:11 am
I have looked at the site and I think that it is good for youngsters and very educational site. I hope that it is fun for them though anyway good luck for the future.
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