The Castle Loch
December 11th, 2006
As the train jerked to life we went slowly out of the station. As we sped up people started sleeping. After four hours I could see the castle but then suddenly we tumbled and crashed.
The train went SPLASH!! into the forbidden cold loch. The castle became shadowy and creepy. I felt as if this was the end of an era. The era of my living life. I swam out of the drowning train. I swam so fast that I could of got gold in the Olympics, but no one else did they slipped away silently sleeping.
BY SEAN P7
Entry Filed under: Hanover Street
18 Comments Add your own
1. Jenny | December 11th, 2006 at 10:38 am
Sean
I really enjoyed reading your excellent writing. There are some great descriptions - I paticularly liked your description of the castle - “shadowy and creepy”. I hope you are going to write more - I want to know what happened to you as you swam out of the drowning train - were you really the only one to survive? It is always good to have your readers left wanting more!
Well Done
Jenny
2. Elma | December 15th, 2006 at 1:45 pm
Your story has a great atmosphere - chilly and creepy. “Forbidden cold loch” is a great description and I also liked the alliteration in “slipped away silently sleeping.”
Please write more!
3. rikki | December 15th, 2006 at 9:14 pm
liked your expreshion
4. Morag | December 20th, 2006 at 9:13 am
Wow! This reads like the introduction to a creepy novel! I wamt to read on. You have been really skilful ion the way you have left many questions unanswered. You have triggered the reader’s curiosity and that’s a great writing skill to have.
5. sean | January 24th, 2007 at 7:52 pm
GOOD STORY MAN FROM YOUR MATE JORDAN YOU R NIEBOUR
6. Ashleigh | February 12th, 2007 at 11:19 am
Hello I Just Thought I Would Leave A Comment Sayin That It Is A Good Story. I Thought The Story Was Good But Yuu Could Of Made It Longer. I Really Like The Title Of The Story.
From Ashleigh From Donbank Primary
7. stephanie | February 12th, 2007 at 11:20 am
Sean the start of your story was good, but at the end it went boring so next time you could add more about what happend at the end! BYE
from Stephanie @ donbank school
8. Chelsesa-leigh | February 12th, 2007 at 11:20 am
Sean i think you should add more people to the story
because it is a bit boring.
from chelsea-leigh
9. arran | February 12th, 2007 at 11:21 am
I liked the story but i would like a bit more description but nice wrighting sean!!!
10. seonaid | February 12th, 2007 at 11:21 am
It was good it could have been longer and better
until next time seeyaxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
11. dean | February 12th, 2007 at 11:22 am
sean you had good atmresfire but how will the peple they mustufe herd it
12. Daniel | February 12th, 2007 at 11:23 am
I liked the part where the trian went in the water
13. ryan | February 12th, 2007 at 11:23 am
i liked your story i want to hear the rest of the end keep on trying to make it better.
14. Daniel | February 12th, 2007 at 11:25 am
I liked the part whe e the trian went in the water.and how he siad it
15. jamie | March 5th, 2007 at 2:41 pm
i like your ending well done.
16. Seaton | May 4th, 2007 at 1:56 pm
ur story rocks !
17. Seaton | June 12th, 2007 at 10:09 am
hye hey gd story
fae lorna
seaton
lool
18. kieran | June 20th, 2007 at 7:37 pm
like your bro sean good at imaginative writting and just in time for academy
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