Things that go bump in the night !!!!!!
June 13th, 2007
” Good night darling” I gently put my head on to my soft and fluffy plllow. I struggled to get to sleep tossing and turning in my cosy bounsy bed. Suddenly … I heard a crashing bump. I crept out of my warm bed and steadily walked off to the window and saw someting out on the pavement, it was a body…
It was lying still and blood all over the hard, cold, stone concrete consequently I raced to my Mum and Dad and hesitated and then said,”There is a dead body on our porch,”
“What?” my mum protested
“There is a dead body on our porch!!!”I reapeated. We all dashed to the green front door and as the creeky front door opened subsequently the body was gone, disappeared however the blood had left a trace, we followed…
Up a few blocks the same body was lying there dead and helpless. Then a buble of curiosity came to my mind that I should phone the police although it might have been too late but I still gave it a try however no answer. Immediately i dashed to the neighbours nevertheless i didn’t want to wake them, a tall looking figure appeared at the front door he shouted, “How dare you come to my front door at this time of night, shouldn’t you be in bed?”
“Its just that theres a dead body on your porch, sir,” I whispered. The repulsive man phoned his friend nevertheless he was a police man subsequently the police man dashed quickly, furthermore he was desperate to win this pursuit.”Give up while your ahead!” The man said aggressively as he cornered him…
By Max with assisantance of Jamie Farman
Entry Filed under: Kittybrewster
2 Comments Add your own
1. Jenny | June 24th, 2007 at 7:30 pm
Very gripping start to an exciting story. I hope you are going to write more so we know what happens. Don’t forget about punctuation - in the last paragraph I think you need a few more full stops to make it easier to read. Looking forward to reading more.
2. Russell | June 25th, 2007 at 12:13 am
I was also gripped by the start, Max. I liked the way the stroy developed from such a calm beginning and then took a sinister turn, and then another. The whole story had a great pace
There was some nice phrases. I particularly liked
I’ve a bubble of curiosity as to what happens next. The last paragraph confused me a bit.
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